Unexpected Pregnancy | Quotes, Options, Stories, Advice, Help

Getting unexpectedly pregnant is a scary, confusing time—trust me, I’ve been there—it’s overwhelming both physically and emotionally. However, for the sake of both you and your baby, you have to pull it together. You have some big choices to make. But what are those choices?

First off, understand that there is no ‘easy way out’ of an unexpected pregnancy. No choice that you make will come without consequences. It is going to be difficult for both your mind and your body no matter what. Please understand that you haven’t ruined your life, you’ve just changed it. Your life will never be the same, but it doesn’t mean it won’t be wonderful. By having that in mind, there are only three options:  abortion, parenting, or adoption.  

Abortion is a very common response to an unexpected pregnancy. Many women who do not feel that they will be a successful parent, or who don’t wish to carry a pregnancy to term, choose abortion. Abortion is a hot button issue in today’s social climate, and everyone has their own personal opinion about the morality of abortion. Some women feel that abortion is a fairly easy choice and have few emotional complications after the procedure. However, many women do struggle with their decision and feel regret down the road. Ultimately, this is a very personal choice that only you can make.

If you don’t feel prepared to be a parent, but you don’t want to have an abortion, adoption may be a good choice for you. As with all choices, there are pros and cons. Placing a child for adoption is a huge loss that creates a lot of grief, we cannot deny it. However, adoption is quite different than it used to be. An expectant mother can choose the family she will place the child with, and if both parties agree, the child can continue to have contact with the birth mother throughout life. Open adoptions don’t offset the grief entirely, but they can provide a lot of healing. Placing your child for adoption could mean that your baby will be raised by parents who are able to provide a very stable life for your child.

If neither of these options sounds appealing to you, your last option is to parent. Parenting can be an incredibly rewarding experience. Just because you didn’t plan your pregnancy, doesn’t mean that you won’t be a great mother, or that parenting isn’t right for you. For many women, raising a child is their greatest happiness. On the other hand, single parenting can be tough. There are a few common issues that come up. Finding affordable childcare while you work to provide for yourself and your child can be difficult. Balancing the roles of a parent and sole breadwinner isn’t easy. There are often issues with the father—sharing custody is hard, especially if you don’t have a positive relationship with him.

Each of these options come with different challenges. There is not a one size fits all answer to what a woman should do when she faces an unexpected pregnancy. In the end, only you can decide what is right for you. It is a hard choice, but you can do it. Trust your gut; you’ll know what to do.

Facing an unexpected pregnancy? Just take a deep breath. Everything is going to be all right. Facing an unexpected pregnancy can be overwhelming, but fortunately, there is plenty of help and advice out there for women just like you. If you are facing an unexpected pregnancy, you have three options. Your options are to terminate your child through abortion, place your child for adoption, or parent the child. Whichever choice you make, it must be the right choice for you and the child. If you choose to place your child for adoption, you will work with an adoption professional to find an adoptive home for your child. When you choose adoption, you will also receive unexpected pregnancy advice. If you choose to parent your child, there are many ways to parent a child. A child can be raised in single parent home, with their birth father, with the assistance of your family, and many more. Choosing to parent your child is a great commitment, one that requires a lot of love and patience.

You will want to choose the best option for you so don’t feel pressured by those who give you advice. One of the best places to receive help is an unexpected pregnancy options counselor. An options counselor is a trained social worker who will provide free confidential counseling and advice. Many of these counselors are based out of adoption agencies, and they should not pressure you towards adoption. A counselor will walk you through your unexpected pregnancy options and provide objective information based on the personal information you provide. You can find an unexpected pregnancy options counselor at the following places: OptionLine, American Pregnancy Helpline, and Cura Cares. Just click on the name to take you to their website.

If you’re facing an unexpected pregnancy, don’t worry. You are going to be okay. There are many resources out there to help you so you don’t feel overwhelmed. Just know that we are here for you.

If you are unexpectedly pregnant, please consider adoption. Visit Adoption.com to view adoption profiles from hopeful adoptive parents. Visit Adoption.com/unplanned-pregnancy to find guidance with your unplanned pregnancy.

When surprises happen, those of us who are sensitive will begin swimming through the emotional waves that begin churning inside of us: pain, fear, grief, and guilt. While it is natural to beat ourselves up, it is never necessary, and the last thing we may realize is that others care about our plight. When you are facing an unexpected pregnancy, it is critical to understand that your life is not over, your child is not doomed, and your goals and dreams can still be the focal point of your future. Here are some safe places to turn and people to trust when you are faced with an unexpected pregnancy:

1. Your Doctor

You are not much of a minority if your pregnancy was not planned for this particular time. According to Camille Pagan of WebMd, “almost half of all the pregnancies in the U.S. are surprises.” Your OB/GYN can tell you how far along you are, which will help you plan your next steps in a more informed way. They can also help you begin regulating your medications, adjusting your diet, and taking vitamins so you are not causing harm to your child or your body.

2. A Counselor

It is natural to be anxiety-ridden when you are at a crossroads in life, but you do not have to let those feelings win. A good counselor can help with depression and stress reduction through yoga and meditation. They can also help you honestly and nonjudgmentally consider the pros and cons of each of your options. For example, while making an adoption plan may be financially and emotionally advantageous in the long run, there will be feelings of loss and confusion that accompany pregnancies that do not end in parenting. A competent counselor will help you process feelings that are unique to your journey and help you focus on potential positive outcomes.

3. A Pregnancy Center

Many pregnancy centers offer comprehensive services like medical referrals, ultrasounds, and counseling confidentiality, free of charge. Centers such as Soundview Pregnancy Center in New York and Avenues Crisis Pregnancy Clinic of Southern California also offer pregnancy tests, education, and financial support to expectant mothers. Their goal is to provide emotional help and strength so women do not have to journey alone.

4. Trusted Friends and Family

There may only be a few people you can trust to maintain your confidence when you share the news of your current struggle, but if you have one or two friends or extended family members who will keep your secret, you have a lot more than most people do. Talking it out will help you to organize your overwhelming feelings and escape from the isolation that makes our problems seem worse than they are. Your friends can offer humor, encouragement, and hope that will help you view your situation will newfound optimism and resolve. You may be surprised to learn that your ally is also acquainted with others who have been in the same position and now consider it all a part of a grander plan to make them stronger and more purposeful. As you grow through your journey, don’t buy the lie that you are alone. Press on until you find the support you need to travel on with compassion and courage.

If you are unexpectedly pregnant, please consider adoption. Visit Adoption.com to view adoption profiles from hopeful adoptive parents. Visit Adoption.com/unplanned-pregnancy to find guidance with your unplanned pregnancy.

Unexpected pregnancies are scary. I know, because I went through one. When I was pregnant I felt judged, misunderstood, and totally alone. I wish I had known someone who had been through what I was going through. I may not be right there with you, but I can give you a few pieces of advice that I learned on my journey through an unexpected pregnancy.

1. Don’t worry what other people think

Some people will judge you. However, most people won’t. You have a choice to either choose to focus on the few people that do judge you, or you can let their comments go. This sounds a lot easier than it is of course, especially if the people that judge you are close friends or family. It’s a skill that you have to practice, and it’s not easy. But learning to ignore what people say about you will be vital to your emotional well-being during your pregnancy and throughout your life.

2. Build a support system

You don’t have to do this alone. Unexpected pregnancy can be a lonely journey, but there is help along the way. If the father is involved, let him be there for you and the baby. Your friends and family probably want to help; they just aren’t sure what to do or say. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s more than likely that they will be happy to do whatever you need.

If you don’t have supportive friends or family, you have other options. For me, much of my support came from my therapist and a support group for single expectant mothers. Search for resources in your area: churches, government agencies, etc. for places with programs that help women facing unexpected pregnancies.

3. Try to enjoy yourself 

My pregnancy was by far the most stressful experience of my life, but sitting around moping wasn’t going to help anything. Pregnancy is still a beautiful thing, even when it’s hard. So write down your pregnancy milestones, get the maternity shoot, all of the things that mothers do. Try to truly enjoy the miracle that your body is creating.

4. Consider all of your options

When faced with an unexpected pregnancy, you have three options: abortion, parenting, and adoption. Carefully consider what will be best for both you and your baby. For me, that meant adoption. I couldn’t bear to abort my baby, but I also wasn’t in a place where I could give her the life she deserved. I found a family for her and now I enjoy an amazing open adoption.

Adoption was the right path for me, but it might not be for you. There is no one-size-fits-all answer. As long as your decision is made out of love and in the best interest of your baby, you can’t go wrong. Your mother’s intuition will tell you what to do.

5. Don’t give up

Because of my unexpected pregnancy, I am a stronger, happier person than I was before. It didn’t feel good going through it, but in hindsight, I’m so glad that I did. My baby is now a toddler, and she is thriving. I’m so proud of her and can’t wait to see the amazing things she will grow up to be.

Your unexpected pregnancy didn’t ruin your life; it just changed it. There is always hope and happiness to be had, even in the darkest of situations. Only worry about taking care of you and your baby—nothing else matters. It’s going to be okay. I promise.

If you are unexpectedly pregnant, please consider adoption. Visit Adoption.com to view adoption profiles from hopeful adoptive parents. Visit Adoption.com/unplanned-pregnancy to find guidance with your unplanned pregnancy.

Pregnancy, in general, can often seem like a time when the rules of politeness do not seem to matter to some. As difficult as pregnancy can be, it can be incredibly difficult to handle all of the attention that comes with it. This may be especially true is the pregnancy is unexpected or if there is an adoption plan in place. Learning how to tackle these nosy questions can be instrumental in preventing undue stress during pregnancy. Here are 3 ways to deal with these nosy questions however you see fit.

Plead The Fifth

Whether a pregnancy is unexpected or not, you absolutely reserve the right to not answer questions about your pregnancy. It is YOUR pregnancy. Some may view not answering as rude, but no one but yourself and your doctor have a need to know information regarding your pregnancy. You can also choose to decline to answer nosy pregnancy questions in a polite fashion. Something to the effect of “I would prefer not to talk about it at this time” should be totally acceptable. Some nosy people may not like that answer, but you should brush it off your shoulders. Your pregnancy is your right to keep private.

Guarded Answers

Instead of taking the “no comment” approach to your pregnancy, you may feel more comfortable answering only some questions or providing only a little detail. You may find that there are some aspects of the pregnancy you are happy to answer. You may be comfortable answering what your plan is, what gender the baby is, how far along you are and other general questions. However, you may not be willing to answer more in-depth details including the whys and the whos of your situation. Much like the “plead the fifth” approach, you can simply decline to talk about whatever you would like. You may also find that you do not want to answer the questions of some while being open to others. This is also your right. Always remember that your pregnancy can be as private as you wish. 

Be Open and Honest

Just because a pregnancy is unexpected does not always mean you will not want to celebrate it! Once the shock has worn off, you may want to tell the world about your pregnancy! If you do, do not let anyone shame you into feeling any less than excited. Many people will have judgments about any pregnancy. Some may be very bold in expressing their feelings about your unexpected pregnancy. However, every baby is a life to be celebrated, regardless of your plans for the future. If you want to talk about your pregnancy and be open about the details, you have every right to do so. You may also feel that it is easier to quiet nosy people by just answering their questions so they will stop the interrogation. No matter how you choose to handle it, people will have to respect that fact that your pregnancy and your privacy are your business.

If you are unexpectedly pregnant, please consider adoption. Visit Adoption.com to view adoption profiles from hopeful adoptive parents. Visit Adoption.com/unplanned-pregnancy to find guidance with your unplanned pregnancy.

So you’re facing an unexpected pregnancy. While you may feel afraid and alone at this moment, you are not the first person to be in this position, and there are a number of options with which you can proceed. Let’s take a look at 2 ways to handle an unexpected pregnancy.

1. Adoption

If you decide to proceed with your pregnancy but do not feel that you would be able to parent a child, you may want to consider adoption. There is a world of resources online to help you learn about what placing a child for adoption means and how that will impact your life. There are adoption agencies, counselors, attorneys, support groups, etc. that can guide you on your decision-making process and give you a real-life example of how a pregnancy that results in an adoption plan can be.

In my own unexpected pregnancy, I chose adoption for my child. I placed my son at birth almost three years ago in an open adoption. It is a very hard decision to make and shouldn’t be done lightly. There are a lot of negative feelings that can result, such as grief and sadness. But, for me personally, I have also experienced positive feelings of loving my son and his adoptive family, being proud of how well he’s bonded with them and grown, and a whole host of other things.

2. Parenting

While you may not have planned to get pregnant, you always have the option of parenting your child if you feel you can give them a stable, loving, safe home. Some things to take into consideration with this option is whether or not you have a support system in place to help with a child: will you be able to work after having this child and if you do, will you need childcare and lots of other things. Just because a pregnancy is unexpected does not mean it can’t be a blessing in your life, even if that means making huge decisions in a short amount of time.  

Every unexpected pregnancy is different, but the three ways you can “handle” it have remained the same for a long time. Take the time to consider your options and make the best one for you, your lifestyle, and most importantly, your unborn child. Don’t be afraid to seek out support in helping make this decision. No matter what decision you feel you need to make, there are people who will understand your reasoning. I don’t need to remind you how large of a decision it is, but good luck and I wish you well.

If you are unexpectedly pregnant, please consider adoption. Visit Adoption.com to view adoption profiles from hopeful adoptive parents. Visit Adoption.com/unplanned-pregnancy to find guidance with your unplanned pregnancy.