Unexpected pregnancies are scary. I know, because I went through one. When I was pregnant I felt judged, misunderstood, and totally alone. I wish I had known someone who had been through what I was going through. I may not be right there with you, but I can give you a few pieces of advice that I learned on my journey through an unexpected pregnancy.
- Don’t worry what other people think
Some people will judge you. However, most people won’t. You have a choice to either choose to focus on the few people that do judge you, or you can let their comments go. This sounds a lot easier than it is of course, especially if the people that judge you are close friends or family. It’s a skill that you have to practice, and it’s not easy. But learning to ignore what people say about you will be vital to your emotional well-being during your pregnancy and throughout your life.
- Build a support system
You don’t have to do this alone. Unexpected pregnancy can be a lonely journey, but there is help along the way. If the father is involved, let him be there for you and the baby. Your friends and family probably want to help; they just aren’t sure what to do or say. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s more than likely that they will be happy to do whatever you need.
If you don’t have supportive friends or family, you have other options. For me, much of my support came from my therapist and a support group for single expectant mothers. Search for resources in your area: churches, government agencies, etc. for places with programs that help women facing unexpected pregnancies.
- Try to enjoy yourself
My pregnancy was by far the most stressful experience of my life, but sitting around moping wasn’t going to help anything. Pregnancy is still a beautiful thing, even when it’s hard. So write down your pregnancy milestones, get the maternity shoot, all of the things that mothers do. Try to truly enjoy the miracle that your body is creating.
- Consider all of your options
When faced with an unexpected pregnancy, you have three options: abortion, parenting, and adoption. Carefully consider what will be best for both you and your baby. For me, that meant adoption. I couldn’t bear to abort my baby, but I also wasn’t in a place where I could give her the life she deserved. I found a family for her and now I enjoy an amazing open adoption.
Adoption was the right path for me, but it might not be for you. There is no one-size-fits-all answer. As long as your decision is made out of love and in the best interest of your baby, you can’t go wrong. Your mother’s intuition will tell you what to do.
- Don’t give up
Because of my unexpected pregnancy, I am a stronger, happier person than I was before. It didn’t feel good going through it, but in hindsight, I’m so glad that I did. My baby is now a toddler, and she is thriving. I’m so proud of her and can’t wait to see the amazing things she will grow up to be.
Your unexpected pregnancy didn’t ruin your life; it just changed it. There is always hope and happiness to be had, even in the darkest of situations. Only worry about taking care of you and your baby—nothing else matters. It’s going to be okay. I promise.
If you are unexpectedly pregnant, please consider adoption. Visit Adoption.com to view adoption profiles from hopeful adoptive parents. Visit Adoption.com/unplanned-pregnancy to find guidance with your unplanned pregnancy.