1. Shock/Surprise

Even though I bought the pregnancy test myself, I still sat there in the bathroom staring at the test stick in shock as if I expected it to dissolve its positive result and I would laugh at my silly worry and go back on with life. The shock doesn’t go away quickly either. This pregnancy was such a surprise to me that at each stage of it, I couldn’t quite believe what was happening. I think it’s perfectly normal to be shocked, and it’s okay to admit that you are when you hadn’t been planning to be pregnant.

2. Fear

About a second after I felt shock, the fear set in and shook my body. I was afraid to be pregnant, something I had never been before. I was afraid of making an adoption plan when I knew I needed to, that I wouldn’t be able to place my baby in someone else’s arms. I was absolutely terrified when I was diagnosed with preeclampsia, when they had trouble finding a fetal heart rate at 34 weeks, when I was taken into an emergency c-section within an hour of getting to a hospital with a NICU. While my unexpected pregnancy may have had some exceptional circumstances, I think fear is universal when facing any sort of new challenge, journey, or advantage.  

3. Guilt 

Getting pregnant doesn’t just affect one person. Because of that, I felt so ridiculously guilty. Guilt for the pressure I was putting on my significant other, guilt that I was feeling shocked and scared, and guilt that I had helped to create a life when I wasn’t ready to take care of said life. I tore myself up with guilt when at that point, choices had been made and consequences to be dealt with. It is only human to feel guilt toward an unexpected pregnancy, but you shouldn’t shoulder it if you can help to resolve it.

4. Disappointment/Anger

This is an emotion that I feel terrible to admit. I was disappointed and angry at myself for not being more careful and getting pregnant. I was angry that my body was going to change and because of previous choices I had made, I had no control over that. Family members and friends were disappointed in me for my unexpected pregnancy and later adoption plan, and that was a hard thing to deal with as I generally aim to people please. But, it’s okay to admit that you may be disappointed or angry with your unexpected pregnancy.  

5. Acceptance/Happiness

This feeling may take a while, but somewhere within it all, acceptance lies. For some people, they may even become happy with their unexpected pregnancy, excited to bring a new life into the world even if it wasn’t part of their previous plan. I accepted my pregnancy and adoption plan, and looking back, wish that I had accepted it sooner than I did and appreciated the things that pregnancy brings, like baby kicks. Even if you are not feeling this now, I promise you it will come at some point.

I’m no expert at how one should feel or even an expert at unexpected pregnancies, but the feelings I felt during mine I can still identify with clearly to this day. It is important to remember that you are allowed to have feelings, even uncomfortable or unpopular ones, as they are part of the process to deciding how to go about your pregnancy and make huge decisions. While this may be a scary time in your life, don’t be afraid to process your feelings and to take your time deciding your next steps and how to proceed.

If you are unexpectedly pregnant, please consider adoption. Visit Adoption.com to view adoption profiles from hopeful adoptive parents. Visit Adoption.com/unplanned-pregnancy to find guidance with your unplanned pregnancy.

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1. Adoption

If you decide to proceed with your pregnancy but do not feel that you would be able to parent a child, you may want to consider adoption. There is a world of resources online to help you learn about what placing a child for adoption means and how that will impact your life. There are adoption agencies, counselors, attorneys, support groups, etc. that can guide you on your decision-making process and give you a real-life example of how a pregnancy that results in an adoption plan can be.

In my own unexpected pregnancy, I chose adoption for my child. I placed my son at birth almost three years ago in an open adoption. It is a very hard decision to make and shouldn’t be done lightly. There are a lot of negative feelings that can result, such as grief and sadness. But, for me personally, I have also experienced positive feelings of loving my son and his adoptive family, being proud of how well he’s bonded with them and grown, and a whole host of other things.

2. Parenting

While you may not have planned to get pregnant, you always have the option of parenting your child if you feel you can give them a stable, loving, safe home. Some things to take into consideration with this option is whether or not you have a support system in place to help with a child: will you be able to work after having this child and if you do, will you need childcare and lots of other things. Just because a pregnancy is unexpected does not mean it can’t be a blessing in your life, even if that means making huge decisions in a short amount of time.  

Every unexpected pregnancy is different, but the three ways you can “handle” it have remained the same for a long time. Take the time to consider your options and make the best one for you, your lifestyle, and most importantly, your unborn child. Don’t be afraid to seek out support in helping make this decision. No matter what decision you feel you need to make, there are people who will understand your reasoning. I don’t need to remind you how large of a decision it is, but good luck and I wish you well.

If you are unexpectedly pregnant, please consider adoption. Visit Adoption.com to view adoption profiles from hopeful adoptive parents. Visit Adoption.com/unplanned-pregnancy to find guidance with your unplanned pregnancy.

The post 2 Ways To Handle An Unexpected Pregnancy appeared first on Unexpected Pregnancy | Quotes, Options, Stories, Advice, Help.

1. See a counselor.

I cannot recommend this enough. Finding an unbiased person to share your thoughts, fears, feelings, etc. with can help you to have a more positive perspective on what you are going through. If you keep all these things to yourself, it can have a truly negative effect on you and possibly even cause stress that can affect the pregnancy. If seeing a counselor isn’t a possibility for some reason, find a family member or friend you can trust to talk to.  

2. Self-care activities.

Take a bath. Read a book. Take evening walks around the block. Color in a coloring book. Take up a new hobby like knitting or painting. Taking the extra time to take care of you during your unexpected pregnancy can help to relieve some of the additional stress on your body and mind. Perhaps nothing on this list strikes your fancy, but the Internet is full of safe, fun activities to help relax and rejuvenate you.  

3. Give yourself permission to be excited.

Just because your pregnancy wasn’t planned or intended does not mean that you can’t find some joy in it. In my own unplanned pregnancy, I created an adoption plan. Because of that, I was afraid to be excited over ultrasound pictures or baby kicks or cute clothes. I didn’t want to bond with him and feel close to him for fear that it would make placing him harder. I regret that so much now. Adoption plan or parenting, it is okay to be excited. You are growing a human life. That’s an exciting event! No matter how this unborn child came to be, they deserve to have your excitement that they are coming into the world, no matter how much or the outcome.

Staying positive in an unexpected pregnancy can be a difficult task, but taking care of yourself, with things like talk therapy and self-care activities can make a positive difference. It is important to remember that you are not alone in this. I remember feeling alone, but the truth of the matter is, it’s one of the only times in your life you always have another person with you.

If you are unexpectedly pregnant, please consider adoption. Visit Adoption.com to view adoption profiles from hopeful adoptive parents. Visit Adoption.com/unplanned-pregnancy to find guidance with your unplanned pregnancy.

The post How to Stay Positive in An Unexpected Pregnancy appeared first on Unexpected Pregnancy | Quotes, Options, Stories, Advice, Help.